I realized that while I took the time to cover several common therapy modalities, there are still some basics about starting psychotherapy that might be helpful to cover. So let's spend a bit more time on knowledge that might make it easier to navigate your first several psychotherapy appointments.
First, I think it's important that people realize that their therapy time extends past their booked appointment time.
I usually recommend that, whenever possible, people give themselves some time both before and after their appointment to just think, process, and decompress.
Why? Because conversations with a therapist are unlike any social conversations most people have.
In order to determine how to be best helpful to you, your therapist will often ask you to discuss topics that you may typically avoid in standard social conversations. While therapists are skilled in navigating difficult topics if they have to be broached, that doesn't mean the topic itself is not difficult.
In addition, to give honest answers and receive maximum benefit from therapy, you may find yourself expressing thoughts or feelings that you haven't had to verbalize to another person before. Likewise, just having the space to discuss difficult topics may lead to an emotional reaction, which takes time to work through.
The psychotherapy process can feel a bit overwhelming at first, and so it's very understandable that most people need a little time to prepare for their appointment and some time afterwards to contemplate their session.
Below are some guiding ideas on how to use the time set aside for before or after your psychotherapy appointments:
Before Your Session:
Thoughts:
Was there something in particular you wanted to cover today?
Is there a particular reason this topic is on your mind?
How might you express your concern to your therapist? Do you think the words will be difficult to say?
If you find this topic overwhelming, are you okay with setting it aside and coming back to it later?
If your session turns out to be emotionally challenging, where will you spend the time you put aside for after the session?
Actions:
Have you put your devices on do not disturb?
Are there any logistics about your care (scheduling, bill payment, questions) that you need to address before starting your session?
After Your Session:
Thoughts:
Do you need some time to just sit and be?
Should you be driving right away?
How do you feel about the session you just had?
Did you learn anything new? If so, was anything you learned surprising? If so, why?
Actions:
It's perfectly fine to tell people you just had a therapy session and need some quiet time to yourself.
Likewise, for people who recharge from socialization or activity, it's perfectly fine to use this time to take a short walk or do something fun to reset.
When you are ready, remember to turn your devices back on.
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